Funerallink Blogs

Category: Grief & Loss

Valentine’s Day Without Them: Memorial Ideas
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a time of joy and a celebration of love. But for others, it only brings sadness and even more grief.

Unfortunately, grief is unavoidable and can be overwhelming for many people. The emotions are intensified during this period. It is important to understand this to help you cope and find ways to make them more manageable.

Here are some ideas on how to keep their memory alive and celebrate your love even after they have passed away.
- Write them a letter.
It can be difficult for you after you have lost a spouse. Expressing your feelings of grief and sadness would be hard while others are celebrating their love. You can write your thoughts and feelings in a safe, private space. It gives you the opportunity to process your emotions in an honest and meaningful way.

Write a love story for your late spouse. It is your love letter to them.
- Invite friends or family to celebrate with you.
Choosing to be isolated during this day is totally fine. However, hosting an intimate gathering of family and friends can provide you with the love and support you need to cope. It is probably what everyone needs after the loss. This small gathering will be an opportunity to remember a loved one, share stories, and celebrate their life.

Surrounding yourself with family and friends on Valentine’s Day will provide you comfort during a difficult time.
- Bring flowers to their grave.
If you have lost a loved one recently, visiting their grave site is hard and can bring back strong emotions. But it also can help you accept and move on. By visiting them, you are also reminded of our mortality and how important it is to cherish the memories of those we have lost.

Flowers are a beautiful way to remember those who have passed away. They are the expression of love and appreciation for the life of the person we have lost; a tangible reminder of one’s life and a great way to honor their memory.
- Light a candle.
While Valentine’s Day is a day of joy and celebration, it can be a time of sadness if you cannot be with your loved one. Lighting a candle can somehow make you feel their presence on this special day. But be aware that it will bring back sad emotions.

The light of the candle represents your loved one’s presence with you on Valentine’s Day. After lighting the candle, close your eyes, breathe and imagine them being with you. This simple act will you feel connected to them even if they are not with you physically.
- Give back to honor them.
By giving back on Valentine’s Day, you can remember your dearly beloved in a meaningful way. You can share your love with others in their memory. You can use this day as an opportunity to make a positive difference in someone’s life. This is one of the most beautiful ways to remember those you have lost and keep their spirit alive.

You can choose a charity or an organization that you know your loved one would have supported if they were still alive. Volunteer if you have the time or make donations to honor them.

This Valentine’s Day, give yourself some space. Relax and take care of yourself. Your deceased loved one would have wanted you to be happy and live your life. Take some time of the day to do something that brings you joy, whether it’s reading a book or taking a walk. Let your loved one’s spirit guide you as you honor their memory on February 14.
February 5, 2023
Grief & Loss: How To Check In On Someone Who Is Grieving
Some people might not want to talk about their problems, but it’s worth reaching out to let them know that you are there for them. It’s always important to check in on friends and family members when they are going through a difficult time.

If you’re wondering about how someone is doing and want to show that you care, these tips can help you.
- Ensure you are calm and relaxed
Checking in with someone is a very important part of the process. It is a way for you to make sure that they are not alone in their grief.

However, it can be hard to find the right time to do this. You don’t want to check in when emotions are running high. They might not be able to think straight. So instead, try and find a calm moment when emotions are low and then check in with them about what is going on.
- Start a small talk
We often find ourselves in the position of wanting to support our friends and loved ones, but not knowing how. It can be difficult to know what to say or do when someone is going through something tough. You can start a conversation like:

“It’s been a while. I am just wondering how you are doing. When you are free, let’s catch up!”

“It has been a year. How are you holding up?”

“How have you been doing, really? Things become so overwhelming sometimes – do you feel the same?”
- Give them time to talk, simply listen to what they say
Listening attentively can be a great way of showing that you care about someone and their thoughts. It is also a good way of learning more about the person you are listening to.

It is difficult for some people to express themselves in a way that can be understood by others. They might have difficulty articulating their thoughts and feelings about a certain topic or a situation so you have to be patient and understanding.
- Don’t make any assumptions
It is important to work as a team because it will make the process more efficient. You should ask what they need before trying to solve their problems.

It is best to avoid using medical terms or diagnoses unless they’re diagnosed by a professional and they’re comfortable talking about it. These words can be triggering for some people. Instead, allow them to talk about their specific experience or emotions. You can also share some of your own experience to let them know that if you were able to get through it, they can too!
December 17, 2022
Popular Bible Verses for Grief and Healing
The Philippines is the only Christian nation in Asia. Asiasociety.org mentioned that: “More than 86 percent of the population is Roman Catholic, 6 percent belongs to various nationalized Christian cults, and another 2 percent belongs to well over 100 Protestant denominations”, it is no wonder Bible verses are popularly used for every occasion.

The Bible has a verse for every situation – of happiness and grief, of pride and compassion, of feast and famine, of life and death.

Bible verses can be found everywhere as well. Here are some verses that can be usually found engraved epitaphs:
- He that endureth to the end shall be saved. – Matthew 10:22
- The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. – Psalm 23
- The Lord hath given him rest from all his enemies. – 2 Samuel 7:1
- Believe on Him to life everlasting. – 1 Timothy 1:16
- The righteous shall go into life eternal. – Matthew 25:46
- Thy remembrance shall endure into all generations. – Psalm 102:12
- I rejoice in thy salvation. – 1 Samuel 2:1
- This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. – Matthew 3:17
- …Well done, thou good and faithful servant. – Matthew 25:21
- … All things work together for good, to them that love God. – Romans 8:28
- Not my will, but thine be done. – Luke 22:42
- This is the promise… The life everlasting. – 1 John 2:25
And for those grieving, The Bible is also a recommended book of daily readings of hope and survival.

Here are some Bible verses of hope for those who are mourning and experienced loss:
- He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. – Revelation 21:4
- He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. – Psalm 147: 3
- Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. 5 But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds, we are healed. 6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. – Isaiah 53: 4-6
- Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10
- Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4
- God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. – Revelation 21:4
- Give all your worries to Him, because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7
- You will feel safe because there is hope. – Job 11:18
- Jesus wept. – John 11:35
From Bible Study Tools: “Grief cleanses the anguish from our souls and sets us back upon the path of life so we can dance. Grieving is the process God uses to bring us to a place of wholeness. Grieving is His great gift to us. It is a necessary part of our journey. Healing.”

Image source: Pixabay
September 19, 2019
Food and Grieving in the Philippines
Filipinos are very expressive. Culturally, we are one of the few who grieve the longest, even the whole year. We have a process – nine days, then forty days, then the first death anniversary. These are the novenas and prayers, and celebrations of the life of the departed. Interestingly enough, some people put food on top of the coffin during the funeral service in the Philippines. Usually, the food used to be the departed’s favorite dish.

Photo/Fitstop.com

Family and friends gather again on these specific important days. Alongside prayers and lit candles is the food. Lots of food.

The majority of every Filipino celebration is food. And even when grieving, eating and sharing food or potluck with family and the whole neighborhood is a common practice. The village grieves, and the village eats.

This, however, leads to another problem. After everyone has left, and all the novenas and prayer gatherings have been done, everything will start to sink in. The loss. After being so physically and emotionally exhausted dealing with the funeral arrangements, grieving sometimes leads to depression and bad choices of food intake.

According to Webmd: When people are depressed, they sometimes develop digestive problems, including diminished appetite, nausea, diarrhea, and constipation. Worry, anxiety, and stress can lead to intestinal difficulties. Also, people experiencing a depressive episode may eat not enough or too much, and they may get little exercise.

From BBC News Health, ”intense grief puts extra strain on the heart. The psychological stress associated with the loss can raise heart rate, blood pressure, and blood clotting, which, in turn, can increase the chance of a heart attack.”

When functioning every day is a struggle, choosing which food to eat is taken for granted by the bereaved. Fast food and quick or instant meals are the go-tos. Comfort food like pizza, ice cream, and street food, sometimes paired with soda, caffeine, and alcohol will lead the body downhill.

You can now book a funeral service in the Philippines online. Learn how here.

Eating affects your energy level. Some tips on maintaining a healthy diet when grieving:
- Eat small portions frequently. Buy some nuts. Peanut butter sandwiches. Then hydrate. Drink lots of water and juices. A tropical country like the Philippines gives us plenty of fruits and juice available year-round.
- Avoid energy drinks, beverages that are full of sugar, and alcohol.
- Do grocery shopping yourself and pick meat, vegetables, and fruits you think will make you feel great. Going out and about, and walking releases endorphins, the happy hormones. Hitting two birds.
- As much as possible, try not to eat alone. Food always tastes better with the company. But if it can’t be helped, go outside and eat out. You may be alone, but be with people.
We rarely talk about this topic, but it is important to maintain a healthy lifestyle and diet while grieving. Do you have any more tips, please share and comment below.
March 22, 2019