Funerallink Blogs

Tag: grieving

  • Caring for Someone Who is Dying

    Caring for Someone Who is Dying

    Often, we are put in a situation where it’s hard to accept the fact that death is coming. In these times, not only are you confused, you’re also dealing with feelings associated with loss such as grieving, regret, anger and more. However, such emotional responses should not be a hindrance to your delivery of care especially when a person is not expected to live more than a few days or weeks.

    Here are ways of how you can show your love to them.

    Let the Dying Person Take the Lead

    Once news breaks out that there isn’t much time left, some people deny it, some people come as strong, direct and blunt, while others sweep the issue under the rug. The truth is, it doesn’t matter how family members and close friends feel. What really matters is the dying person’s wishes.

    It is important that you listen to cues or what he’s intending to say. For example, expressing thoughts about missing a particular event, or not being able to attend a family reunion is a clear sign that he wants to talk more about the death but isn’t aware of how he’ll approach the issue. As family members, let him take the lead and let him decide of when to talk about it.

    Be Clear that You Understand the Situation

    In these situations, different people cope up differently regarding the matter. Some individuals are okay with being honest while others avoid talks of death. As mentioned in the first tip, you’ll have to let the person take the lead as this will steer the conversation in the right manner.

    Playing dumb or not being honest as to whether you know about what’s going to happen next will make them feel disrespected and lied to. If they ask, just give them a brief and direct answer.

    Avoid Regrets by Saying, “Please Forgive Me.”

    Whatever kind of relationship you may have with the dying person, now’s the time to let go of regrets by asking for forgiveness. Grudges, disappointment and frustrations are bound to nowhere and the only thing you can do to set your heart free from negativities is by asking for forgiveness.

    At the same time, whether or not the person has asked for forgiveness, it is best to take this opportunity to give them your forgiveness.

    Appreciate the Person’s Existence by Saying, “Thank You.”

    At the end of one’s life, we can all contribute or at least honor their existence by saying “thank you” to them. Such a saying gives them a sense of dignity and pride before leaving this world.

     

    Photos: Pexels.com

  • Funeral Directors and How They Adapt to the New Normal

    Funeral Directors and How They Adapt to the New Normal

    In this article, we’ll be reading one funeral director’s experience of navigating through the risk of the pandemic, offering heartfelt services and coping with the pain they experience as they are the last responders of grief, loss and burden.

    Nathan Streed, owner of Harvey Anderson and Johnson funeral homes usually wake up at 6 in the morning and cap the day at 5:30 in the afternoon. However, since the Covid-19 has taken so many lives from the day it started, Streed’s phone never stopped ringing.

    Streed is on the edge of such circumstances as these deaths are not only beyond lonely, they’re also risky. Funeral directors such as Streed has to navigate through the processes and provider services for families that are grieving in these uncertain times.

    Funerals, unlike before have taken a toll to funeral directors’ mental, physical and emotional health. These end-of-life rituals are conducted in a restricting manner, limiting physical attendants to half the building’s capacity and ensuring social distancing, hand sanitizing, and masking requirements all throughout.

    What’s more, funeral directors are forced to reinvent mourning processes such as livestreaming and virtual sessions. However, this technological advancement is not always available for those who can’t afford it. This information alone makes funeral directors feel disheartened and lonely.

    Mourning and accepting grieve is made easier when people gather together, share heartwarming stories, they’ll laugh, cry and eventually move on. But, with this pandemic, this is not possible. For Streed, this is a huge loss.

    “As funeral director, he gives his best to help out. It’s very difficult and it’s very challenging because we have to go above and beyond our normal scope of services and be human in these times”, Streed said.

    Other services are reportedly postponed until the pandemic ends. For some, it is important to be safe now and hold a remembrance event or a memorial later when everything’s okay.

    However, such delay poses an incomplete mourning process. There can be moments where a family looks over and fails to accept the loss already. Some moments can be, “we’re okay with it” and others, “we still miss our beloved dearly.”

    Depending on the decision of the family and the urgency for the celebration, others choose to hold a semblance of a funeral. For example, family members going for work in another state and cannot attend the event will choose to remember their departed through a memorial type funeral.

    This is where funeral directors come in and offer solutions fit for the family.

  • Making a Care Package for a Grieving Loved One

    Making a Care Package for a Grieving Loved One

    When you lose someone you love, you lose a part of yourself. Undeniably, a person does his best to cope with the loneliness, guilt, and possibly even resentment. As every individual is unique, some choose to socialize and put themselves out there to minimize and accept the negative emotions. However, for others, doing so is impossible. They need time for themselves and face it alone.

    If you know someone that needs help, despite offering your sincerest “if there’s anything you need,” they can significantly use a care package. Listed below are the things you’ll need.

    Food and Refreshment

    As we mentioned earlier, there are instances when the grieving isolates himself from other people. Simultaneously, there are cases when the bereaved family finds it hard to squeeze in time for cooking because of funeral or memorial preparations. To help them in a way that matters most, consider putting food and refreshment items in the care package you’ll send them.

    You can include various nuts, dried fruits, granola bars, cereal, and canned goods. You can also add in microwaveable meals that you can purchase in your local grocery stores.

    Toiletries and Other Essential Items

    When everyone’s busy preparing for the memorial, small yet essential items can be forgotten. This includes toiletries and other seemingly insignificant things that people need, like a trusty lip balm. Because a quick trip to the convenience store is time-consuming during these trying times, you can offer your help by providing them these items.

    Your care package includes tissues (for facial and sanitary use), toilet papers, shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush and toothpaste, soaps, handy lotions, and lip balms.

    Comforting Gifts

    There are instances when people need something that will get them through the pain. These comfort gifts don’t have to be grand or expensive. A thoughtful and straightforward present like a scented candle can go a long way.

    You can include weighted blankets, bath bombs, trip to the spa gift cards, cute journals, books, handwritten crafts, and DIY packets to induce activity for your care package.

    Helpful Resources

    People approach grief in a personal and unique manner. Despite encountering loss several times or the first, we need guidance and information to our journey towards acceptance and action.

    You can squeeze in contact information for grief support groups and counselors. Also, articles or print-outs that contain helpful information, videos and movies that tackle moving-on, and a calendar of events that will encourage the grieving person to move, socialize or at least communicate are beneficial for them.

    Nobody wants to deal with the heartache of a loss. Although this is an inevitable life event, the best thing we can offer to our loved ones is our unconditional love, support, and respect.

     

    Photos: Pexels.com

  • Dealing With Suicide: You and Your Loved One’s Guide to Grief

    Dealing With Suicide: You and Your Loved One’s Guide to Grief

    The world can be harsh and cruel. Oftentimes, we find ourselves questioning a lot of circumstances and incidents that happen beyond our control. These situations often test our character and our attitude that sometimes, the pain can be unbearable. Coping with the pain and the emotional toll varies from one person to another. 

    While it’s okay for a person to break down from time to time, some opt to eradicate the pain for an eternal period. One of the not-so-talked about and is considered to be a taboo are the incidents of suicide. 

    Understanding What Suicide Is

    There are a lot of factors that leads to one’s suicide. After all, people have a distinct way of coping up with emotions. More so, individuals have different levels of pain tolerance and emotional resilience. What may be okay for one is devastating to another. 

    Suicide is the act of taking one’s life. There are cases when the victim takes multiple attempts of self-harm and other emotional breakdowns or it can be a one-time incident. Nonetheless, a suicide is a tragedy. 

    But, what comes after suicide is oftentimes a gray area of life’s confusion. If you’re put into an unfortunate situation of hearing a suicide from a family friend, how can you help? We hope that this article can help you as well as the family facing such tragedy. 

    Images that show what it feels like to suffer from mental illness. Bringing the inside to the outside.

    Caring for the Bereaved Family

    One of the best things you can provide to the bereaved family is to lend an open heart, a compassionate touch and a mind free of judgement. After all, nobody deserves to experience the pain of losing a beloved soul. Here are some of the few suggestions you can do to ease the pain, even for a little while. 

    • Never attempt to judge the family’s situation or suggest how they feel. At this point of time, they are probably confused, horrified, and overwhelmed. If you think what you’re about to say cannot help the family, don’t say it. 
    • Let the family do what they think is best for the deceased’s stuff. Such loss isn’t expected and is unlike other deaths. Right now, traditions are out of the question. Suggesting actions is the same as pressuring them to do something they are not ready for.
    • Don’t snoop around for details. Respect the family’s wish of silence and acceptance. Instead, be a good listener. 
    • Comparing the tragedy with another one of similar circumstance is a big no-no. Avoid making this loss about others. This pain is distinct to the family alone. 
    • If possible, lend a hand on chores or funeral arrangements. The emotional toll can be overwhelming to the family. Your helping hand counts during these grieving times. 

    Unlike other pain of loss, this tragedy is something that a family doesn’t anticipate. The best thing you can do as a person is to be respectful, caring and supportive.