How to Cope After a Loss of Someone We Loved

Nobody has ever been ready to lose someone whether due to illness, accident or natural causes.

Getting a call early at dawn informing you that your father has passed away is the most painful news you will ever receive You will go through a process of shock and disbelief. Thoughts like ‘I can’t believe it’s happening.’ ‘Why is this happening to my family?’ ‘What will happen next?’ ‘How can I move on?’

People react differently and cope differently as well. In the Philippines, depending on the local belief, tradition and religion, a funeral can take a couple of days or a week. For Christian Catholics, there will be a novena for the departed every night followed by a Holy Mass until the burial. This includes a prayer for strength and courage for the family to be able to bounce back quickly. After the funeral, the forty days prayers will immediately start. Through this process, the family will grieve and hopefully, can accept and recover from the loss of a loved one.

Don’t worry about funeral arrangements. Free your mind and get the most reputable funeral service your loved one deserve here.

Here are mindful ideas on how to cope after a loss of someone:

Feel the pain.

Let the feeling flow but don’t let it overpower you. Feel it. To help you manage your emotions, you can reach out to someone you trust such as a family member or a best friend. It’s important to not ignore the emotion and it’s natural to feel so overwhelmed by the loss of a loved one.

You must know that you are not alone. You have your family who is most likely feeling the same way as you do and understands you completely. They are your best support system. Share your emotions with them so you can cope up together. You can probably handle it by yourself but always good to have someone looking at your back.

Quietly reflect.

Take a minute of your time to stop and reflect on the things happening around you. If you are religious, going down on your knees can help you feel better or meditate. Reach out to your inner self and talk to yourself.

Think of the most difficult time in your life in the past. What was the step that you did to get back on your feet? Or, think of someone you know who was in the same shoes as you do right now. What did they do to cope up? Find yourself.

Many Filipinos are religious. Hold on to your faith and trust that one day you will be able to keep going. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting – it means acceptance and knowing that they are with the angels in heaven.

Allow yourself to grieve.

Let time heals you. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way. People grieve differently.

Stages of grieving:

• State of shock. You can’t believe that it’s happening. Funeral services in the Philippines can take a couple of days or a week. There are relatives and friends who will pay their respects and support. During this time, part of you would still not believe that it is actually happening – and that, this person is really gone. This feeling is completely normal.
• Resentment. There will be days that you will find yourself angry and resent what happened. You will blame the doctors, yourself or even God for not doing the best. In order to not get into trouble, stay away from the things that will push the buttons. When you find yourself in the middle of the heat, take a break and let it cool down. You can always patch things up later.
• Finding a solution. Getting back on your feet after the loss of someone is not easy. It’s not like losing a job or a pet. Nobody can replace this person into your life. You will face a lot of roadblocks, and ask a lot of questions. You will be showered with a lot of doubts. In this stage, you will need the support of the people you trust to constantly remind you that you are not alone in this journey. Putting the pieces back will be faster with someone you can trust – a best friend or a family member.
• Deep sadness. Grieving is a process. Some people take a few months while others take longer to finally accept a loss. A strong surge of mixed emotion is overwhelming. Let it flow. Don’t stop yourself from crying or shouting to let go of your emotions. This is the stage when you are starting to accept the truth of losing someone. Just let go to bounce back.
• Acceptance. Certainly, it’s a long tough journey but you have finally reached the summit of acceptance. Embrace yourself and show gratitude to the people who have helped your journey to full recovery. You will find yourself reminiscing the good times. Death is imminent and inevitable. Life is beautiful yet too short to enjoy. Let’s enjoy every second of it and share every memories with the people who are dear to us.

Embrace your life.

You will deal with many changes and challenges along the way. Think of many ordeals you have been through, the odds that you faced, and how much weight you carried on your shoulder. In spite of all those, you were able to stand on your feet again. Embrace your new life and always focus on the brighter side of the tunnel.

Go out and start a life that you deserve. For some reasons that you find yourself sliding back, remember that you have your support system who is ready to aid you. Although your journey to coping after a loss of someone is your own, and everyone has their own way, it is recommended to have the people you trust around you.

Have a seamless funeral service for your loved one, find the nearest funeral service near you here.