Learn The Types of Grief to Know Whether Your Grief is Normal or Not

Grieving is a stressful process. It drains you. But it is as natural as life itself. Everybody should be given their space to grieve, over a lost loved one, death of a pet, passing of a friend or a celebrity one looks up to.

We all grieve differently. Some want to be alone, some want to be surrounded with people that matter. These coping mechanisms can be observed on Filipinos’ funeral wake – some are loud, full of people while some choose to celebrate the life of the departed in a private chapel with some chosen few. Some grieve quickly while others have the process longer.

But is there such thing as a “not normal grieving”? Everyone grieves in their own unique ways, we are all wired differently. Here’s are a few types of grief:

• Anticipatory grief – this is “a feeling of grief occurring before an impending loss. Typically, the impending loss is the death of someone close due to illness.” This “period can allow people to resolve issues with the dying person and to say goodbye.”  This grief maybe is difficult to talk about since the person involved is still alive. Filipino family caregivers around the world are very well oriented with this.  (Source)
• Normal grief – According to WebMD, although you can’t control the process, “doctors have identified five common stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Every person goes through these phases in his or her own way. You may go back and forth between them, or skip one or more stages altogether.” Normal grief is commonly defined by many as the ability to go through these stages through acceptance of the loss. 
• Complicated grief – Filipinos are sentimental but resilient at the same time. Complicated grief often happens to people who are very close to the deceased. Some symptoms would be “continued disbelief and inability to accept the death of a loved one, inability to enjoy good memories, feeling alone and detached from others, loss of identity or purpose”. Support is crucial in this type of grief as there is high risk for someone’s emotional illness. (Source)
• Absent grief – Psychcentral describes this by example: “Sometimes a person shows no evidence of grief because they have put aside their own need to grieve. For instance, an adult male whose father has died may have absent grief because he is preoccupied with his mother’s needs.” 

These are just a few of the many types of griefs we need to recognize. It is important to consider as well that everyone grieves openly, loudly, silently and/or privately. We don’t really know what everyone goes through deep inside them.

Filipinos are showy. But we also know how to respect privacy. When a family or friend grieves, sometimes we should dare step onto that line and ask about their well being. A few of the types of grief mentioned above could affect the emotional and mental illness in the future. It is important to help. Reach out. Be kind.